Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Has Anyone Tried Kudzu

Honey, why do you have lipstick on your teeth? Generation

Public transport has one undeniable advantage: one can read while traveling. Through trial and error I came to the observation that pays me to draw the book when I have a chance to read for ten minutes, less than that, unfortunately, I forget what I read, and I have to start from square one. Interestingly, the reading of the PDA requires more attention and somehow quantum reading, so to speak, is extended. Hence shrug when someone complains about the travel dłużące. Flight to Australia looks quite appealing, because it would give me enough time, I finally read "Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell." This is not the thickest book I have, since 1006 with his only gives both parties' Bastionowi "King (1336) and" Atlas rebel "Ayn Rand (1323). Even the "Ice" is thicker Dukaj (1045). However, "the Bastion" I've read several times, and Dukaj is hard, thick, varnished cover, hence could result in excess baggage. The Ayn Rand's case is somewhat different, because in my life I did not want to read it. This book took in settlement for the editorial, we made a once in a lifetime for some publications; avarice of his owner's manifested itself in my case in such a way that the cities of cash, you could happily and very constructive E spend, I was offered an honorarium of books. Driven by pure revenge took the thickest we have. Since, however, the position he got close to my heart, of which, moreover, I said, magnanimously forgive Mr. Z. As for Ayn Rand, this brings me here right away another digression, which is immediately indeed share (because who forbid me?). I have a second Polish translation, moreover, by my colleague. The first appeared years ago in parts of the UPR-pisemku at that, "The Supreme Time," where is the title ("Atlas Shrugged") was translated into "I Atlas shrugged." Each time, when the title reminds me, shakes me up, but after a second comes to mind, visualize and come to the conclusion that, however, Iwona could borrow it yourself.

Yeah, "Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell" is waiting for a special occasion. Maybe the May trip to Hungary? In total, a thousand pages is not an unreasonable challenge, because I read the lazy pace of the one hundred and fifty pages per hour, however snag is that I bought this book in the original. And Suzanna Clarke is not so, for example, by WEB Griffin, whose military-historical novels I read from cover to cover like flies. I took in the past even for the translation of one of them, translation is incredible fun, unfortunately, to fit in any terms acceptable to the publisher, I would have to abandon all other activities. : Also when it comes to military topics and quality of translations of books and films is my teeth grinding, and may someday write about the thickest mistakes by interpreters, Mr. Lozinski!

But I did not total it. Not even a novel, Ms. Clarke, for the note on this is needless to explain why the four-hour journey from Lodz took the "bloodsuckers" by Christopher Moore, the party just 424th Do not ask me what I am tempted to go there, just that railway locomotive broke down about five miles from the city. Vigilance ought to take longer then, however, in return journey train ride I took a chance again. When you try to purchase a ticket but I was made aware that the train, which I intend to start the return journey is delayed by one hour, and therefore I have no chance to catch the change trains. It took place at the station in Kutno, where - as we all know - is so dirty that his eyes burst. Having assessed the chance of survival, therefore, the sense of sight during the three-hour wait for another train, I decided to go by buses. Pekaes rode up - strangely enough - on time, I got up thus sat, soon pogrążywszy in reading. Unfortunately, after about half an hour, the bus left the farthest suburbs, "Promised Land" and the driver turned off the light. Reading light - of course - was closed. Next we drove through various moments of the village lit up so that could be read, and even more by the municipality in which the driver re-run the main lighting. What were the city - do not ask. I do not know. I've read. When I drove on the highway, where, thanks to panakulczykowej sake of convenience of sleeping Passengers will not find a lighthouse, in desperation guided the cell, unable to break away from reading. Ladies and Gentlemen, Christopher Moore.

like such a novel: funny, witty, romantic (what!), Smart and fresh. With this fresh, it is almost hesitated, which may be new to write about vampires? And yet, you can:

took a deep breath and suddenly opened her eyes wide, as if she remembered about the explosives in the oven. - Oh, my God! It's terrible. I have jeans in which they will never push. I always I weighed about two kilos too much.

Well. Miss a few moments is a vampire. I just found out that it is immortal, depending on the blood and sentenced for the night. But no, the most important are these two mythic kg ... Vampirism causes other problems, from my personal point of view even more compelling:

zajarać We can not even blunt. We can not drink beer. Our bodies that nieprzyjmują. Sobriety sucks. We are nothing without the grass.

If I had not ridden ancient Autosan, turlałbym with laughter.

Dylogia Moore (after "Krwiopijcach" also gave as good continuation, "Suck, baby, suck") is like this. The XXI century, San Francisco. Nice, but very average dwudziestokilkulatka goes in the wrong place and time, then wakes up after two days (nights) in the garbage. Sympathetic, but quite average of twenty in the day meditating on his Great American Novel, and at night works in a shop overnight. So these two people to meet, and then ... and notwithstanding the fact that it does not begin a sentence with "well then, summarize share further makes no sense.

action is secondary, although it holds together and ends up so that I cried (with emotion, not with laughter!), Because Moore is playing primarily situational and linguistic jokes, juggling stereotypes and wrong clues. I bet that the author had a lot of fun while writing the book, which gives a perverse response to all questions that you'd want to ask the lofty figures in black cloaks, but wstydziliście to ask. And rightly so, would be beneath the dignity of those polled who are destined to eternal suffering and mhok ...

Oh, after all, a vampire must to suffer like that for half the night, wallowing in spasms, by one-quarter is looking for a handsome rat (better would be a virgin, but this is in kindergarten), the remainder of the time to devote to flaunt their courage. Consisting of a walk through the dark park. I still have to drink blood. One, speaking in scientific jargon school raving about mutations, another proudly originates from the origin of vampire fallen angels, at least. I do not know whose school is right, but I believe that Moore, who claims that the blood stinky chew hungry vampire is what the "The football poker" j also depended sports morning for the judge Lagoon: tastes awful, but it serves its purpose.

Unfortunately, the standard vampire does not reveal too much desire for sex. True, in "Interview with the Vampire," Neil Jordan tried to suggest homosexual overtones, but the "Vampire Chronicles" does not give the illusion, unfortunately. Vampires are asexual. What's another classic, Bram Stoker gives a little bit to understand, but do not represent anything literally. But what was needed Dracula Mina Harker? Well, I guess, however, to do a good impression. And that Moore is terrible: the main characters together "Bloodsuckers" buzzing goes better than ever before.

already hear the cries of outrage. Bloodsucker may not yet have a sense of humor. The vampire must be dark and haughty. His days of existence must be accompanied by pain, not a trivial boredom there. His immortality is a gift, accompanied by a price: the yearning of eternal frustration. Do not, as does Moore, trivialize vampire for fun crowd. On the day of self-respecting nosferatu rests in a crypt, possibly in a coffin, and not some pub-motels, right? If bloodsucker has helpers, they are a future students of the dark, in love with his master, and not - as in "suck a little, suck" - some smarkata Goth. On the downside, you need the main reason was that some hotel cleaning lady has not entered when you sleep, and opening the curtains not accidentally burned it to ashes

Really, are you funny young fans of Vampire: The Masquerade, most seriously in the world who maintain that the truth about vampires is one and none, and everything else is nonsense, myths and images. On the other hand, also moved by the arms, if someone teaches me that folklore and folk beliefs say something else about vampires, and pop culture shamelessly lets your imagination run wild. Hello - I have terrible news for you. VAMPIRES In REALITY Christ Vampire Hunter ", a film so shockingly bad that in some cult circles. Suffice to say that the infamous Troma productions in August after watching him with the intellectual and aesthetic delight, another thing that I still put it higher than the work of "Bloodrayne" and other "Underworldy" whose main purpose is to show some sticks, running around the plan in the lacquered leather. "Interview with the Vampire" is brilliant. Usually I do not like Tom Cruise (as rightly pointed out to me a colleague, Tom is not a man, because it has at least a hundred teeth - take a look at any scene where he smiles), but Jordan's not in the movie came out wrong. Like the role of Brad Pitt, especially the moment when the first time in centuries, he sees the sun - in the cinema. A Theatre of the Vampires, and the little Claudia, and finally the music of Elliot Godenthala ...

for Ann Rice novel, but not so fond of. Long ago, the mountains, the forests, I listened to the late Thomas Beksinski who

Sunday night, he read extracts from "Intelligence ...", interspersed music from the film. I will never forget the three-way - greetings Krzysztof Skowronski - Broadcasts the voice of Tom flowing from a small, cheesy radios, impressions, which to me had. When a few years ago I started in August and finally the "Vampire Chronicles", I experienced a severe disappointment. We're sorry: Ms. Rice is to me a simple grafomanką, which succeeded in the right hands of the right to sell the very average book. What else Bram Stoker. His "Dracula" is simply delicious, even though its author, now and always remained an author of one book. Coppola's film adaptation of A and had a great impression on me. Stokerowi also owe Kim Newman and "Anno Dracula", "Bloody Baron" and the crowning NOVELLA trilogy, which just can not remember the title, and which in Poland is not released. With Newman is indeed a severe case. Reference to Stoker's narrative takes place in a layer, who does not know who he was, James Seward, that, unfortunately, misses much of the flavors contained in the "Anno Dracula". At first glance, accumulation of improbabilities seem to be a novel in which we find the prince Dracula as a spouse of the Empress Victoria, Jack the Ripper, Dr. Jekyll, Oscar Wilde and the rest socjety Victorian, half-transformed into vampires. Worse, Newman goes up the moments: rulers Britain nosferatu commit terrible crimes without specific constraint described by the author - but still: it can be read ... "Anno Dracula" and "Bloody Baron" (in the sense of Baron von Richthofen, in our version of reality, simply called Red Baron) pull like hell. Regardless of how improbable and ill serves us the story of Newman, is in its inner logic, if we convince her, then hard to break away from reading. To some extent the

the other extreme, the authors locate, who locate the phenomenon of vampirism in the field of motivation science fiction. For them, the existence of vampires is explicable by reference to science - or its appearance; nosferatu is a subspecies of Homo sapiens so that with an extremely rare mutation has been nadnormalne (but not supernatural) capabilities, but who by the same mutation has remained small. Oh, some recessive alleles, as an impediment to the production of hemoglobin. I know, extreme example of Peter Watts went up in the otherwise excellent "Ślepowidzeniu" where genetic engineering allows genes play a vampire and raise him as a species, once extinct due to human civilization. Watts can be explained scientifically, even aversion to the cross, which for him is connected with the action of the gene, raising the intelligence, but as a side effect of causing epilepsy at the sight angles.

One of my favorite vampire remains Cass from the "Preacher" - a delicious comic written by Garth Ennis's / Steve Dillon. The irascible Irishman is not overly sympathetic figure sum. The murderer, pimp, drug dealer, female boxer - in a word, motherfucker, czepiający every chance to survive even one day longer.

But let us speak with images:





back to Christopher Moore: his heroes are normal. In the normal way you would have reacted and I had suddenly occurred to us to turn into a vampire. After the initial shock of just cieszyłaby newly acquired power, the other would be longing to return to normal, human form. Indeed you have become vampires, which This condition may be some advantages. You're healthy as the fish, anyone can easily crush, hear and see for miles. But the point is that these pros cons did not obscure to you. You have to drink blood regularly, we will not be anymore nawalić not obejrzycie sun (unless the TV), and of always staying in his physical form (two kilos! Two kilos!).

On the one hand superhuman perfection, which - like everything - has its price. On the other side all the serious defects that can be used so as to rotate them in small pleasures. Eternal life or watching the sunrise on a heavy hangover. Unceasing vigilance and control of time, seeking refuge from the destructive UV rays, or lazy lounging on the beach, dark glasses and drinks from palemką. Night or day.

author of "bloodsuckers" succeeds in a difficult and rare. The light and funny as Moore was able to casually zagadnąć reader about fundamental matters. While pompously this would sound (rum tum tum, bum Trara), I finished "Suck, baby, suck" and a little otherwise I looked at myself, for there is nothing less natural, than perfection. We are a humane precisely because they have addictions, make mistakes, we think illogically and guided by emotions. For humanity is the sum of small imperfections, but without which we badly. At least some of us, Moore says, every one must look at ourselves and the same answer, or more convenient to him with the burden of being a vampire, or the ballast to remain human.

leave my answer for yourself. Grabbing -


Moore

Krwipijcy. Tum. Jacek Drewnowski. MAG 2008

Christopher Moore Suck, baby, suck. Crowd. Jacek Drewnoski. MAG 2008

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